BTT 70: Dear Consequence

Dear Consequence

.

I.

I always thought you were

Something to suffer,

An improvised device

Answering my every

Step, both mutable

And sure,

Inscrutable,

And counting down

The years and days

Together pounding

Our little plans

To powder

Beneath your

Watchful gaze.

I would feel you

Searching out the issue

Of my blood,

Who never knew

They would be

Running swiftly to any

Of the four

Horizons to escape

Your careful ticking

In my head,

               We lived,

Instead,

In hiding,

 Stopping ears

And hearts while

Worlds we built slipped

Between our fingers

Sifting out

Into the sand.

.

II.

But we are

Still here

               Somehow,

And feel you,

               Strangely,

Not as a violent flash,

But as if we were

A clutch of hornets

Proud and

Dagger sharp

Drinking your thick

Golden stream,

Of honey dripping

From a tree.

You drape us in

Your slow insinuations

Until it is too late,

Our feet sweetly fixed

Where they had lighted,

               The tenacious meal

Cementing us in

Amber casings,

Iridescence shining out

From jeweled and

Empty eyes

Looking for all the world

As if they

Yet showed something

That could still be

Called alive.

.

III.

I don’t quite

               Remember

Even now,

               How

I am still here,

               But here I am,

Gazing back

Into the yellow glass.

I mark your countenance

In the faces

               Of my kin

And watch you

Meting out the measures

               Of their pain.

Have I become

Cold as I

Question how it is,

               Dear Consequence,

That you no longer stalk me,

Rather it is I

Who see you

From a far way off

Returning as a prodigal

From the wastes.

The times and seasons

Question if I am

But shedding my skin as

I run swiftly out to

Meet you,

               Bargaining away

My necktie

               For pearls

And my go-to-meeting suit

               For a dress of flowers

And my beard

               For a skin of softness

And walls of privilege

For the chance to be

——- A byword

—————– or a monster

———————————- or a joke

Breathing free.

I hand you back

That shell they

Held so tightly,

That once wept in careful corners

Before making plans to die,

               As it then held me both

Bound and divided until it

Fell away,

And I can wrap

                              You now

In colors of the days,

And lay my head

On your soft and

Understanding shoulder

As the music plays.

.

I know finally now,

I simply cannot fear

The yet uncovered places

That you carry us.

I count with you

The cadence of each tear,

Knowing deep inside:

.

—————— I am the blast radius.

.

  • Lona Gynt December, 2019 (revised June 2020)

All rights reserved for text to Lona Gynt, June 2020. Images are from Pixaby, free for noncommercial use.

This poem was written originally in response to Amaya’s prompt on dVerse in December 2019 on Poetic Apostrophe, but it didn’t feel ready to see light until now. Here is the link to the original prompt.

I am linking it today to Open Link Night hosted by Bjorn. Here is the link, join us for the last poetry trail before summer break.

Open Link Night #269

42 thoughts on “BTT 70: Dear Consequence

  1. I am glad you saw that line Paul, it is the simple lever of the whole poem, of my whole life, these things bother us, until we just let life take precedence and let all other imperative fall away. I never thought that could happen. It has been a surprise and a blessing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love the pace of your poem, it moves fast as if being followed and then the blast at the end. Consequences, yes. Many of us are ignorant of the consequences our actions can bring for nature, the planet and people we may ignore.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This makes me think of truth or consequences, which I always thought strangely juxtaposed. Every action has consequences, whuther truth or lie. It seem somehow easier to live with those that come from truth. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is the difficulty, we can try to be rational in our ethics about how our actions impact others, but the imperative of identity is a phenemonology, it is life. The more it feels like love, the closer it is too truth, but it is sometimes hard to sustain where worlds diverge

      Liked by 1 person

  4. knowing and accepting who we are allows everything else to fall away … being true to yourself is the best healing … this is so sensual yet haunting, profound and personal … powerful writing Lona!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You’ve dropped the bomb and accepted the consequences, but I’m also interpreting that the consequences that you feared did not come true, that the consequence was actually freedom and love and understanding. I don’t know if that’s the intent of your poem, but it spoke to me about not being afraid of the consequence of being my true self. Beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a perceptive and kind reading. I wish I could say that consequence has always been kind, one of the strong feelings I have in this poem is that it was useless to fear consequence. I am not saying that we should not try to be prudent or vigilant, but if we strangle who we truly are out of fear of how that will circle in the world, then we are removing ourselves from the picture anyway. Sometimes this can be literally dangerous, and sometimes no one else would perceive the humanity being squelched except you yourself. Things are not smooth, but I am at peace in my radius, even though my whole world would have taught me not to be. This is a profound surprise for me, like an excellent writer put it, helps me to make a start, “to brave a smile.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, we shouldn’t remove ourselves from the picture and more importantly, to be our authentic and whole selves. I’m glad you were “pleasantly surprised” by finding peace in your radius. The brave smile you ventured with this poem resonated with me. I’m smiling back! ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  6. A powerful letter poem to Consequence, Lona. I too used to think that consequence was something to suffer but found out that it is a lesson to be learnt – sometimes the hard way. learned the hard way. I identify with the lines:
    ‘Running swiftly to any
    Of the four
    Horizons to escape
    Your careful ticking
    In my head’
    and
    ‘Worlds we built slipped
    Between our fingers
    Sifting out
    Into the sand’.
    I love the release of acceptance conveyed in the lines:
    ‘…I can wrap
    You now
    In colors of the days,
    And lay my head
    On your soft and
    Understanding shoulder’.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Wow this was worth the wait until it was ready to see the light. And it is powerful share, specially the second part. Your voice is full of strength and acknowledgement of our choices and journey. I believe that you will never know what it is, until you have fully experience it and that comes with consequences. Have a good summer and see you soon!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Lona,

    I reread this again tonight. It is such a powerful poem. This part in particular speaks to me.
    ‘Running swiftly to any
    Of the four
    Horizons to escape
    Your careful ticking
    In my head’

    Thank you for your heartfelt message recently about my poem, “If I read you like a poem” It brings such a sense of satisfaction to have someone reflect back feelings and thoughts that I have tried to capture with my words. I write to reach to others and your response meant a lot to me. I am honored to be on your bulletin board.

    May you be well,
    Ali

    Liked by 1 person

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