BTT #79: A brief time

A Brief Time

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A leaf rests silent on the ground

Beside a withered rose.

With careful flight

The sunset lights

Beside a withered rose.

.

I don’t know where my whisper goes

Into the reaching night.

A breath, a hold,

A heartbeat folds

Into the reaching night.

.

Your little hands held on so tight

Around my aching soul

They yet have wound

A silent sound

Around my aching soul.

.

I know what I was always told

Of all that’s lost or found.

I miss your nose

And little toes,

Of all that’s lost or found.

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  • Lona Gynt, October 2022
  • All Rights reserved for text and image

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A response to the DVerse Poetry pub hosted this evening by Laura Bloomsbury. Laura invites to write to the Roundabout Form.

Read about that here:

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https://dversepoets.com/2022/10/20/mtb-in-a-roundabout-way/

28 thoughts on “BTT #79: A brief time

  1. Lona,
    The profound sense of loss comes through so authentically in spite of the contrived form that in this case you made the “roundabout” work beautifully as a lament that never ends. Inspiring work.
    ~ Dora

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Dora, that means a great deal to me. Forms are a wonderful path, but one should always think for what one wants to say, than what the form allows you to say. Thank you for your kind read.

      Like

  2. Lona, your roundabout is perfect and brought me to tears. These lines spoke to me, the emotion is so familiar:
    ‘I don’t know where my whisper goes
    Into the reaching night’
    and
    ‘They yet have wound
    A silent sound
    Around my aching soul’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kim. Her life was so brief, but so beautiful, I have become more agnostic than faithful lately about an afterlife, and so 20 years later, have been mourning my child again in a different way. I am still so grateful she was here, and am glad to say that even without faith, I at least still have hope. I appreciate your tender reading.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Laura. I really enjoyed you introducing this form to us. I feel like it actually added substantively to the feeling of my poem. Sometimes commentators say that repetitive forms evoke a sense of anxiety or obsession in the poem, but in this Context I felt like it added a different twist of meaning to the repeated line in each stanza, and helped me feel more contemplative and incantatory. This was a great week to come back and be taught something new by you. Thank you!

      Like

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