Revised Red letter text as of 12-08-2018. Black text from 2015.
ADDED OR REVISED ALL CAP AMBER TEXT IS FROM JANUARY 2020
My name is Lona Gynt. Welcome to my sparkly dark little world. I am a resident of Second Life where I have been distributing a blog-type-thingy to some of my friends that I have met there. Now I am distributing it to any of my 7 billion other friends who might be interested. My ramblings include thoughts on poetry, art, music, bacon, and other cultural touchstones. I will share some of my own poetry from time to time, but I will never share any of my own bacon. In many of the posts I share some of my contemplations and eviscerations on what it is like to be a transgender person who is and also desires to remain, BUT CERTAINLY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO REMAIN, a devout Latter-day Saint (Mormon). I MEAN I AM STILL A MORMON, AND A LATTER-DAY SAINT-TYPE PERSON, AND BELIEVE IT, AND STILL WANT TO GO TO CHURCH AND THE TEMPLE AND ALL THAT, BUT ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER LOST IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CHANCE TO LIVE AND LIVE AND THEN LIVE AND THEN LIVE LIVE LIVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, AND THEN I FINISHED THE PROCESS OUT OF A HEALTHY DOSE OF HUMANITY RISING TO THE TOP, but my point is not to bore you with that all the time. Lona Gynt is a pseudopseudonym, I am NOT REALLY keeping my real life identity opaque, but I am not too worried about keeping it secret. I am sick of secrets, I am ok with who I am, and I HAVE STRIVEN to stick to all the other things (Church, family, covenants) that are still also important to me. I WAS RAISED AND STILL BELIEVE THE WHOLE CRAZY-SOUNDING STORIES AND DOCTRINES OF BEING A Latter-day Saint (Mormon), but this site is not associated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (ya think?) or any type of church that goes by the Mormon nickname, it is strictly my own little deal. My faith and my church are very dear to me, even though it may appear that certain teachings, policies, or cultural trends of “Mormondom” are not in harmony with the realities I feel as a transgender person, I HOPE you won’t find excoriations regarding these incongruencies here. I love my church – its teachings, people, power and the universal generosity of its doctrine. I love my faith – even though it takes an awful lot of… that thingy (what is it it…? errm…) oh yeah – FAITH to try to keep it together. I love my Heavenly Father, who has wrapped me in his loving arms via the ineffable and very awesome Holy Spirit again and again – NO MATTER WHAT – STILL NO MATTER WHAT. I have not chosen to be a transgender person – the reality of who I am is inseparable from who I am. (Gosh, I guess that sort of makes sense doesn’t it?) I have spent decades suppressing and denying it, but that does not change reality. Likewise also in some ways I HAD not chosen to be a Latter-day Saint, sometimes you choose your church, and sometimes a church in all of its power, love, incongruities, and revelatory spirit reaches out and inexorably chooses you, AND SOMETIMES IT LETS YOU GO. I live every day with two apparently persistent mutually inconvenient truths, but have recently found them to be reconcilable in the universal open arms of Christ and his acceptance and empathy and grace for me, sometimes despite the boundaries we have a tendency to set as people who so often will not understand each other. In regards to covenants… As a Latter-day Saint I believe our first covenant is to live, (Job 38: 4-7) and the abrogation of that first covenant in service of subsequent is neither sustainable or loving. The path before me as a transgender daughter of God is quite literally for me a matter of survival. MY PRIESTHOOD WAS RESCINDED AND I WAS TOLD ALL THE TEMPLE ORDINANCES I HAD ENJOYED WERE RESCINDED IN OCTOBER 2019, I FELT SO MANY MOORINGS WERE CUT, I WAS FLOATING IN UNCERTAINTY, MY HANDS THAT HAD BEEN USED TO BLESS FELT THEY COULD THEN FIND NO PURCHASE. I HAVE WANDERED AND AM TOLD THERE IS NOTHING TO DO BUT TO TAKE MY LUMPS, BUT SOMEHOW THEY ALL FEEL LIKE BLESSINGS. I AM ABOUT TO BE EXCOMMUNICATED, BUT I DON’T FEEL JUDGED. I STILL PLAN TO ATTEND CHURCH, BUT I WON’T BE ALLOWED TO SPEAK THERE IN CLASS OR MEETINGS, BUT I THINK PEOPLE CAN STILL TALK TO ME IN THE HALLWAYS. IT IS LIKE I WILL BE HAUNTING THE PEWS AND THE HALLWAYS LIKE A SMILING GHOST THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE PEOPLE MAY HAVE KNOWN BEFORE. I STILL FEEL THE SAVIORS LOVE IN THE GENEROUS DOCTRINES (BUT NOT THE SOCIO-POLITICAL DOGMAS) OF THIS CRAZY CHURCH, AND I FEEL THE LOVE OF THE SAVIOR IN MY PRAYERS, AND THE LOVE OF THE SAVIOR IN FRIENDS BOTH IN AND OUT OF THE CHURCH WHO ARE KIND AND WHO DO NOT JUDGE OR GOSSIP. THE GREATEST PAIN I FEEL IS THE PAIN THAT I HAVE CAUSED TO MY FAMILY, AND I HOPE MY CHILDREN WILL BE ABLE TO HEAL TOGETHER WITH ME THROUGH TIME, AND FANTASIZE THAT THIS HEALING CAN POSITIVELY IMPACT THE ETERNITIES FOR BOTH OF US- BECAUSE ETERNITY IS NOT ONLY IN THE FUTURE, IT IS ALSO HERE AND NOW. I NEVER WANTED TO CAUSE THEM PAIN. I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE LOVE THAT I HAVE FOUND AND HOPE THAT IT WILL REFLECT THE GREATER LOVE OUT FURTHER INTO THE WORLD. THIS MAY MEAN I AM UNREPENTANT, BUT I THINK IT JUST MEANS REALLY THAT I AM GRATEFUL TO STILL BE ALIVE– REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY ALIVE.
I live in the Southeastern United States. I am a physician. I enjoy Scrabble but no one hardly ever plays it with me. I can juggle very badly for long periods of time which always comes in handy to make my daughter roll her eyes.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE BLOG:
First time visitors may find the following tidbits of advice useful to most efficiently optimize your use and enjoyment of the blog. 😉
- I used to say you should start at the beginning post and work your way forward. This is mostly because I am a vain and self-centered little thang who can’t stand the thought of someone not hangin’ on her every word. I think of y’all like my very small little group of adorable minions, but this is I think that was a silly recommendation. There are a some of the posts that are heavy in biographical narrative that make more sense in order, but mostly it doesn’t matter at all. I will give the two serials with respective order, and the rest just swim around happy.
- BTT’s #3, 5, 7, and 10 are a series on Faith Hope and Charity and a Postscript tying it all together and how it saved me from Suicide. BTT’s 14, 15, 17, and 19 is a series on dreams and the impact on my struggle against self-directed transphobia. Both of these series would not make as much sense as they otherwise wouldn’t have if you do not read them in order. Otherwise just swim around happy.
- BTT stands for Blog-Type-Thingy (it’s true! it does – you can look it up at the following link: https://lonagynt.wordpress.com/about-2/
- You can scroll to the bottom of my website to find a link to follow the Blog via e-mail. Other bloggers can click the link at the side of the home page to follow via wordpress. Go ahead – do it, follow me, you’ll like it, everybody’s doing it, you’ll be cool!
- When I use the word “everybody” in this blog it just might not refer actually to everybody in a literal sense.
- Same goes for the word “cool”
- If you like what you read in my blog, you can actually click on the little star thingy that says like. Don’t be shy – go ahead, it feels good (whispers: especially for me).
- Comments are welcome. Go ahead, don’t be shy – but do try to be at least less misanthropic as I myself am (ok, so maybe sometimes do be a little shy).
- Although I affirm All Rights Reserved etc for text of my blog, I am ok with attributed re-blogging of my posts – in fact I am sure for some people it happens all the time (sigh). 🙂
- Remember the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not label anything as an eleventh commandment.
- Ok ok, so remember the twelfth commandment: Be nice.
- Okey… enough about me, now lets talk about me… Enjoy the Blog.
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Also, the banner picture for this blog is from my visit to an exhibit by the wonderful Second Life Artist: Cica Ghost. This was from her Dreamers exhibit in 2015. If you are an SL resident, make sure you visit her shop and art gallery, it is a joy! Here is the SLurl: