Hello, I am Harvey Cat… Lona is my human, but she is tired and just wants to sleep (you would think she was the cat). I usually have her pretty well disciplined to answer my needs, but today she is just lying there. I have stared at her for about a full hour (I think- whatever an hour is, I don’t really know, don’t need to, have no appointments), but she just keeps snoring. You would think that such a dainty larynx could not possible be so noisy, but it really is getting on my nerves and I think she might actually be scaring the birds away from the window, because I have been trying to watch for birds for an hour (or whatever), and none have appeared. The staring didn’t work so I started purring from beneath the bed, but I don’t think she could hear it, so I had escalated to the next level (def girl 4) and started kneading and purring relentlessly on her tummy (she hates it when I mention that she has a tummy). That did wake her up, but with no lasting benefit, she just murmured something tepidly sardonic and picked me up and put me in the other room, closed the door, and soon I heard snoring again. The nerve of that girl, sometimes I think she has no idea who is really supposed to be in charge.
I think she has realized that if she were not to wake up and feed me I would have to eat her (it’s true, I guess some scientists finally figured this out, we of course have known this for years but have hidden this under our charmingly aloof facades).
Here is the link that shows what in the world I am talking about with that last comment:
It’s not like eating her would be my first choice, but if your human just keeps snoozing and snoozing without putting out the kibble, well y’know a cat has to eat. It would be no picnic, for one thing, she is indoors, for another she is huge! I mean, it’s not like she is larger than other humans, but compared to a fist full of meow mix, she would take forever to consume. I think I would have to start at the feet too, (an unpleasant prospect in it own right, let me tell you), but ever since she went shopping at Truth and Maitrya the hairball index factor has increased. (You humans named it a hairball, you have no idea, that almost sounds fun, like a little ball of hair. You might play with it or pad it with your paw… ahhh. Well, birthing it up through your eyes is neither fun nor cute. The only good part of having a hairball is that any humans who might be watching a cat deal with a hairball gets a strange and troubled look, as if they were just about to see your liver or your pancreas appear, then wallah! you spit out this cute little hairball – well congratulations… anyway I digress).
Well, the room she put me in is her office, and the computer was left on, so I decided I would go ahead and do my part to elevate the level of her blog with my own two cents or whatever it is. Lona refers to me as her Alt, well I am not her alt even though she might disagree. For one thing, she still has her gonads and I don’t have any, so it’s not like I can just go around and pretend I’m her… what would you call it? An alternative? What does that even mean when you talk about something so basic. Anyway, I think I miss my gonads, but I am not really quite sure why at this point. I like to look at birds out the window, she does not, although she does appear to like looking at me looking at birds, and anyway, who can blame her, I am so regal after all. Another big difference is that she does not give a flip when that little red sparkly thing starts blipping all over the wall, I tell you that thing is out to get us, who knows where it even comes from, it does not say hi, it does not purr, or smile or arch it’s back, it’s just like there, and bam! Next thing you know it might get us, so I chase it catch it, and then it is gone. I tell you… that is just plain weird, but does she care? She merely chuckles for some reason.
We both do like to peruse (some would say snoop) profiles and nearby chat, and I will finish this blog with some of the entries I have found in recent weeks.
Tootsie Nootan: I am not that fond of real life, it is addicting. I would cancel my account, but I have heard that they keep billing you anyway.
Alana (alanaandrews): About: I am a professional oven mitt model. I spend my free time arguing the positive effects of glitter.
Lona: Those who don’t study history are doomed to repeat it, those who do study history are doomed to repeat it, but at least they get to have a smug sense of self-satisfaction about the whole thing.
Some unknown avatar, she logged before I even caught her name: “I am not so much a person as I am a collection of choices”
Sophia: “When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” (She is quoting Viktor Frankl)
Amanda: Yes, I know I’m not perfect. Please be patient, I am a work in progress.
Rachiie: “Some people say I think the world revolves around me, it doesn’t. It revolves around the sun, which is shining out my… (well you will just have to read Rachiie’s profile for the rest… rhymes with sparse)”
Michael Romani: ” Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.” (Quoting Oren Arnold)
~ Behind every avatar is a real person – be kind ~
Douglas Hofstadter: “There are various theories about the Origin of Life. They all run aground on this most central of all central questions: ‘How did the Genetic Code, along with the mechanisms for its translation (ribosomes, tRNA, molecules) originate?’ For the moment, we will have to content ourselves with a sense of wonderment and awe, rather than with an answer. And perhaps experiencing that sense of wonderment and awe is more satisfying than having an answer- at least for a while.” Goedel, Escher, and Bach… p 548.
Father Zossima: What is hell? It is the suffering of being unable to love.
I am still trying to wrap my luxurious tail around that last one – well you all may have more luck with that than me. Lona is still snoring, I can’t get to the window to check the birds, but at least the darn little strange red sparkly is nowhere to be seen. Come to think of it, I only see it when Lona is around… Hey… what if…? Could she…?? Nah, never mind, she couldn’t do anything that weird. Anyway, I am tired, time to sleep in regal charmingly aloof peace, and remember, the Egyptians used to worship us (no cracks about – see where that got them – that is sooo third century)
All Rights (and all Catnip) Reserved, HarveyCat May 2016.