BTT #41: On Transitioning

encirceld girl_001

On Transitioning

·

When I become

Known as I am

Don’t think I

Circle a path

That’s neither

Slow unfolding nor quick,

Neither open nor tightly walled.

Rather,

I have always

Simply been here

Whispering,

When something is

Important to you,

You care 

What it is called.

·

Lona Gynt, September 2018.

·

This is in response to Amaya’s prompt at dVerse “On a Loop”  We are instructed to write a new poem that includes a line from something we had written on a previous September 11.  I have that line in italics.  Here is the link to Amaya’s prompt, followed by a link to my prior 9/11 archive.  Interesting that both of my writings have nothing obvious to do with the tragic events of 9/11. Maybe we can transition that day and defeat the terror of that moment.

·

Poetics: On a Loop

·

https://lonagynt.wordpress.com/2017/09/12/btt-16-for-uncertain-connotative-knowledge-a-few-choice-words-on-a-few-choice-words/

·

Also this is linked for the Quadrille Monday hosted by De Jackson this week.  We are instructed to write a Quadrille that includes the word “quick.”  The link to this prompt and all of the quadrille rules are found here:

·

Quadrille #64 – Quick!Write something!   

·

Have my work cut out to read posts from two dVerse links – but oh what wonderful work that will be!!!   🙂

 

addendum, I wasn’t going to write about that day… but the poems I have read so far cycle me back to that day. Here is my memory:

I was trying to get two different critically ill patients out of clinic at a Southeastern USA Air Force Base to the local hospital. I had just sent our base ambulance off with the heart attack patient and so we called for a community ambulance to get there. I was working feverishly, wondering why the ambulance from the community was having trouble getting on base to transport my second patient. I heard something vague about a plane crash in NYC and had no idea what that had to do with my patient with fulminant diverticulitis not being able to get the ambulance sent to us, I had to get on the horn and bark at the security gate about my patient needed that ambulance to get to him and was told that nothing was allowed on to the base, I said he could explain that to this retired serviceman’s family at his funeral, or he could let the ambulance get in. They let it in, the patient got transported with lights going and I took a breather, then went to a crowded break room just in time to see a replay of the second tower collapse in a silent glittering haze on the tiny screen. I stopped, I knew, ah now I got it, I cussed something unbelievable under my breath.

·

All rights reserved September 2018 to Lona Gynt.

Recited at Out Loud Huntsville, Open Mic Night 12-22-19.  This is what I wore.  🙂

delete soon

40 thoughts on “BTT #41: On Transitioning

  1. Oh yes… I think we always lack the right word for something that’s new… as an example calling your action a war might feel right when you start but at the end it often leads to actions that don’t help you in the end…

    We were utterly unprepared to the changes and have all of us been part in making the wrong decisions… I wonder how this time will be described in history…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. it does sometime take a lifetime… or longer, but it can also work the other way to name something, can breathe joy – or meaning – into the griefs as well, that is how we win. I love your thoughts on this.

      Like

  2. Your italicized words are exactly right, and they have me thinking about those words about God/Jesus who loves us so much and can name every hair on our dear heads. I’m glad you were able to find something and that we can take this whole wound of a day and carry it into the realm of the supernatural, remembering the soul and what truly matters.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you De. I think I have become a lot better at hearing those internal whispers. When I try to ignore being who I am, they sometimes start to shout. 🙂. I am sincerely grateful for your praise.

    Like

  4. Lona. What an amazing write. Powerful in its truthdom – if that’s a word. After reading it, I went back and read your About — which I’m ashamed to say after all this time on dVerse, I’d never read. These words “the reality of who I am is inseparable from who I am” and these words here
    “Rather,
    I have always
    Simply been here
    Whispering,

    I think you’ve provided a powerful lesson here for everyone. No matter who we are, sometimes we try to hide parts of ourselves. I think that’s why they talk about trying to find someone who you can share “unconditional” love with. If there’s whispers in our head….let them out. Be who we are. “To thine own self be true” isn’t just a platitude. And when we think of the “shortness of time” — it keeps on moving….keeps passing…..why waste our time being something we are not?
    I enjoyed your write very much!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The neither-nor duality is excellent. I love the personal experience of this transition in its honesty and prayer-like reverie. And those italicized lines speak wonders — naming is identifying, identifying is knowing, and knowing is accepting.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love how you’ve contrasted the negative and the positive in this poem, Lona, in particular the lines:
    ‘Don’t think I
    Circle a path
    That’s neither
    Slow unfolding nor quick,
    Neither open nor tightly walled’,
    the way other people want you to be as opposed to
    ‘When something is
    Important to you,
    You care
    What it is called’,
    a confident positive statement.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kim 💜, a change may appear to have descended on the world in a moment, when in fact it has been working inside a person for a lifetime. Hoping to be confident, one can still be concerned about hurting loved ones. Your comment is so wonderfully kind, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I wish the best for your friends, there are risks. I am also in a pretty conservative milieu. The oppressive weight of gender dysphoria just sometimes starts to outweigh those other factors, as evidenced by the high suicide attempt rates among transgender individuals, or sometimes the losing of feeling like life if no overt self harm occurs. I am glad to hear from you Paul. All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s